Jessica Wilkerson, MA, LMFT - Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist #104464
530.994.5114
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Books and Game Recommendations

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.  I am only endorsing books and games that either I have personally read or used or that trusted colleagues are passionate about.  By following my specific link I earn a little bit from your purchase, but I would suggest these resources regardless of any compensation from Amazon.

Click the book image to be directed to the same item on Amazon.

Boundaries by Drs. Cloud & Townsend is my favorite therapy book of all time.  It can transform marriages, friendships, colleagues, and families.  This book is written by Clinical Psychologists who are also Christians and they blend Bible teaching along with good, solid psychology.  Even someone who doesn't follow the Christian faith would be able to see the psychology in here.  They basically say, "here's the psychology, this is how you determine and communicate when you don't like something or don't want to do something." and then they back it up and say, "and here's where it talks about that in the Bible." 
Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life

Relationships

This book isn't about changing your spouse.  Even  they if might need to change....
This book is about understanding yourself, what you really want out of your life, and then finding the appropriate way to go about acheiving that in your relationship.  For example, do you want a more adventurous life, but your spouse is a stick in the mud?  You can't change them, but there are things you can do to achieve that adventure. That's what this book is about, how to change yourself so you can have the life you want within the marriage you have.  The name is a little deceiving, but after you've read the book the name makes perfect sense.

PS - You don't need to be married to benefit from this book.  Anybody in a long-term, monogamous relationship would grow from this.  I think this book should be a pre-req before getting married!
Boundaries in Marriage
Teenagers, young adults, newly divorced or widowed - this is a great book for people who are going on dates, looking for a partner, or are just single and open to finding someone.  I love giving this book to teen clients whenever I have a few extra on hand in my office.  
Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
This book is written by the Psychologist who created the type of couples therapy called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).  This is the type of therapy that saved my own marriage and the type of therapy that I'm trained to provide.  Hey, if it worked so well for my marriage OF COURSE I'm going to learn how to give that to other families!  This is a fantastic book to read together with your spouse.  But remember, even if your significant other isn't interested in reading books or going to counseling, you still benefit from working on yourself individually.  Sometimes just reading through the conversations in the book can be a jumping off point for a conversation with your partner.
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
This is basically the same book as above, but written from a faith-based perspective.  We were created to live in relationship with other people and when we were just little babies our ability to trust relationships was established.  This influences the way we respond to our partners today, but when our responses are either creating pain for our partner or ourselves (or our partner's responses are creating pain - or both!) we are stuck in a cycle that God doesn't want for our lives.  This helps you identify those cycles and teaches you how to challenge the trust we learned in infancy/childhood so you can be an adult who can love freely.
Created for Connection: The "Hold Me Tight" Guide for Christian Couples
When you notice there's a cycle in your relationship and you've been trying to get your way a lot of the time, or you've been enabling your partner's bad behavior because you like it when things are peaceful even when your partner is engaging in unhealthy patterns - then this might be a helpful book to read.  If after reading it you still need help piecing together what's going on, then going deeper in therapy will get you to the next step.  This book is so helpful and also so good at starting that conversation within you.
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Formerly called "The Sex Starved Husband's Guide" this book is amazing!  The author is a Christian, and within the second half of the book you can tell he's coming from a biblical mindset.  What's in here is good for all husbands who find themselves in a marriage that has lost it's spark or might be heading toward divorce.  

It's not filled with psychobabble or therapy mumbo jumbo - but it really is filled with good, solid relationship advice for men.
Wife Magnet: Become the husband she can't keep her hands off

Families/Parenting

This book is teaching you how to deal with certain situations and behavior problems in a way that encourages the parent to bond with their child.  Their goal is to teach the reader how to focus on instilling character traits and changing behavior while maintaining balance in the family.
Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives
This book was a game changer when my "now adult" son was in preschool.  I recommend it to everyone.  They've created more versions since those years.  I haven't read them, but if they're as good as this one then it's worth the time and investment.
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
When I worked for a non-profit in Redding they sent us to a three day training on "Touchpoints," but it wasn't until years later I was pregnant and I opened this book to actually read it that I was SO IMPRESSED.  This is such a wonderful book and really helped when I started my "second round" of children.  I had thought I remembered everything from when I had been pregnant and a new mom in 1998, but having a second baby in 2015 and there had been much I had forgotten or perhaps never knew.  This book was my saving grace.  I can't recommend it enough.
Touchpoints-Birth to Three
There's a lot of wisdom in this book about teen girls.  I don't think it's only applicable for girls who are being bullied.  If you have a daughter who has become an enigma, and things are just so different with her lately, then this is actually a really good book.  If you find out your daughter has been bullying or has been being bullied, this is a good book.  If you have a daughter and she's entering adolescence or is a full fledged teenager, this is a good book.
Queen Bees and Wannabes, 3rd Edition: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boys, and the New Realities of Girl World
This book is about helping families with the hard topics: your child is transgender, a product of rape, has a serious medical, behavioural, or mental health condition.  How do you cope?  How do you help your child cope?  Where do you go from here?  This is a good place to start.
Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity

Healing Childhood Wounds

A parent who was extremely wishy-washy with their emotions - loved you one minute and hated you the next.  Told you things happened in different ways than they really did, or denied things happening at all.  Sometimes the parent would rage.  You survived and got through it, but it was a crazy childhood with all the rollercoastering.  The things you did that kept you safe when you were young are likely not helping you now.  This book could have been catagorized under the "relationships" category because understanding your childhood experiences with an unhealthy parent will have a direct impact on your romantic relationship and friendships.
Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem
Sometimes our childhood wasn't the kind that could teach us how to balance a love relationship or parenting.  Maybe that was your upbringing or your spouse's, and it's effecting your relationship with each other or with your children.  This is a good starting point to understand how to grow closer together by challenging the false beliefs that might have been instilled early on.  
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind - and Keep - Love

Death and Dying

This is a book that has come highly recommended by so many therapists that there's a symphony of clinicians singing its praises.  This book isn't just healing for children, adults find solace within its pages as well.
The Invisible String

Stress/Fear/Trauma

 Written by a psychiatrist, this book takes a good look at the physiology of the brain and then teaches you how to use your biology and your psychology together to overcome fear, self-sabotaging, anxiety, and more.  If you want a book that feels more scientific and less "therapy," then this would be a good fit.

I love learning about brain science, so I really loved this book.  If you're anything like me and you just want to learn more about biology mixed with psychology then you might really love this as much as I did. 
Life Unlocked: 7 Revolutionary Lessons to Overcome Fear
This book comes recommended by many, many therapists.  This book has helped so many people learn to shut off their brains and finally get some resorative sleep.
End the Insomnia Struggle: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Get to Sleep and Stay Asleep
Make peace with your past, grow, and learn to thrive despite the trauma you've been through.  This book was recommended by several therapists I like and respect - it's next on my reading list!​
Struggle Well: Thriving in the Aftermath of Trauma
Anxiety and depression usually don't look like what you'd expect them to look like.  Children with anxiety often cry a lot at the drop of a hat.  They ask questions to figure out how to predict their day or to predict the people around them.  This is a great book to go through with your kiddo to help them learn how to identify anxiety and work through it to confidence and safety.
What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (What-to-Do Guides for Kids)

Games

This is *hands down* every child client's favorite game in my office - even the boys.  

If your child has ever come home from a therapy session with me talking about a unicorn that poops out gems.  This is that game.

Kids LOVE it, and they end up getting really chatty while they're playing.  If you want to interact with your kiddo more and find out what they're feeling these little games that are easy and fun, but don't require a ton of instruction are fabulous ways to interact and to chit chat.  Bonding with your children doing the games they love is the very best way to get them to open up about the other big stuff because the big stuff is really hard to talk about without a distraction.
Unicorn Surprise – Board Game with an Interactive Magical Unicorn
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Contact: (530) 994-5114                   jdw@jessicawilkerson.com                 1025 Village Lane, Chico CA

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