Jessica Wilkerson also provides therapy to families, couples, individuals, children and teens.

To make an appointment with Jessica for therapy, please call her at (530) 921-5122 or email her at jwilkerson@chicocreekcounseling.com.  You can find her on her office webpage at: http://chicocreekcounseling.com/our-staff/jessica-wilkerson/

You have permission to be happy.

I don't care what the nay-sayers say. 

Nobody has permission to rain on your parade; to tell you you're too happy; to act like you're less than they are because you see the sunny side of things.  Nobody.

Do you hear me?

No really, do you?  Do you believe me?

I've struggled with it myself.  I learned when I was in my teen years that I had a choice in every situation; a choice to choose to enjoy myself and a choice to be miserable.  One day something clicked; I could make the best of the situation because my parent or friend was "making" me be there and do that - or I could hate it and be miserable, and make everyone else miserable too.  So I chose that I'd rather be happy than not-happy.  It's about my day and my experiences, I want good ones.

Since that epiphany at age 16 or 17, I have been one happy lady. 

Simply because I choose it.

There's an inherent problem, though.  The Eeyores of this world HATE IT.  It's so annoying to them.  The positivity and joy that radiates is sometimes misunderstood as unintelligent, shallow, or careless.  But you know what - PHOOEY!

That's their issue.  Those are other people's insecurities being projected onto the joyful folks, and we don't need to dodge those bullets or worry what other less-joyfilled people think.  Really.  There is too much chaos in this world, too many other bullets to dodge.

There are so many articles written about how to release depression; how to find fulfillment; or how to make your life happier - but nobody writes articles for people who are already happy.  Well, this is for YOU.

Don't fake it.  Don't "cheer-down".  Don't be afraid that others might deem you less professional or less intellectual.  It's simply untrue.  You can be smart and happy - and I'm here to prove it! 

I know that you worry, have stress, are scared about various things, feel frustrated and angry at times - I know that despite feeling those feelings, you take a moment to step back, feel the feeling, and then make the choice not to let it influence your moment/day. 

I know that it takes intellect and a strong will to decide to deal with those emotions later when it's appropriate, and when you have the time to address the issue-at-hand.  I know that the world doesn't see all that happening under the surface.  All the world sees is that you seem unshakable and happy - and I know that what shakes your joy is when the world judges you as less-than because of that strength.

Be who you are without apologies! 

You are admirable! 

You are the type of person that people strive to be, but don't know it! 

We are called to be the salt & the light! 
  That means we add flavor and illumination!

And if you are someone who is struggling with the annoyingly chipper coworker, smile at them and appreciate that they have something special.  Their positivity is not a reflection on who you are just as much as you are not a reflection of them.  You can find a way to be "yin & yang" with each other, neither of you needs to make deep personality changes.

However, If you want to learn to move up one more step in the joy department, spend one day smiling at each person who walks near your desk.  Look up, and smile.  You don't have to be perky, and you don't have to make small talk, just smile. 

I promise, it will ROCK YOUR WORLD!


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Jessica Wilkerson also provides therapy to families, couples, individuals, children and teens.

To make an appointment with Jessica for therapy, please call her at (530) 921-5122 or email her at jwilkerson@chicocreekcounseling.com.  You can find her on her office webpage at: http://chicocreekcounseling.com/our-staff/jessica-wilkerson/

Group therapy can be a very powerful tool for healing!  Let's look at the reasons for groups:

1)  Attending a group session is considerably cheaper than one-on-one therapy.  The licensed therapists at Chico Creek Counseling charge about $100 per individual session, while the pre-licensed interns charge about $75 per session.  Group therapy sessions range in price from $25-$40 depending on the therapist leading the group and the topic.  Currently, we have a group for parents of teenagers that runs $25 per session.  That's 1/4-1/3 the regular rate of therapy.  You leave having been heard, learning new skills, but your pocketbook hasn't been quite as affected.

2) Closed groups vs Open groups.  Most group therapy is provided as a closed group.  What this means is that the people who join in the beginning are the only people allowed to be a part of the group for the duration of the schedule.  In time, you let down your guard, you talk about your struggles and they talk about theirs.  A trusting and safe atmosphere is created between you and the other group members.  The therapist participates as an educator, leader, and helper - but everyone gets a chance to be heard and to help one another.  You sign up for this group and you commit to being there for the tenure of the weeks.  An open group; on the other hand, can have people coming in and out.  You don't have to commit, you can come for the topics that you need and skip the topics you think you have handled already.  In an open group, you still share your experiences and you help others with ideas and support just as you would in a closed group, but you don't go quite as deeply or intimately.  This is great for people who have a hard time opening up.

The Parenting Your Teen group going right now is an open group.

I chose this career because I have a deep passion for helping others.  I know that for some, one-on-one therapy can either be intimidating or can be a financial hardship.  This is why I facilitate the occasional group therapy.

If group therapy is something you might be interested in, then please contact me to find out if I have a group in progress or on the calendar to begin soon.  Also, if I don't have a group happening right now, but you have a topic that interests you then I would be glad to talk and brainstorm with you about putting a group together!  Sometimes a group isn't happening because I just haven't had the a-ha moment to think of it!!!  Your suggestions are very welcome!

Some groups held now or in the past are:

• Parents of Toddlers
• Parents of Pre-Teens & Teenagers
• Discovering your Authentic Self
• Boundaries & Confidence

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Jessica Wilkerson also provides therapy to families, couples, individuals, children and teens.

To make an appointment with Jessica for therapy, please call her at (530) 921-5122 or email her at jwilkerson@chicocreekcounseling.com.  You can find her on her office webpage at: http://chicocreekcounseling.com/our-staff/jessica-wilkerson/

Oh, the teen girls!  I love them.  Once upon a time, I was a teen girl... now, I'm a grown up woman with all these years of college learning in psychology and years of providing therapy to girls and their families.  But, I can still tap into that teen girl brain and emotions that once lived in this body when I need a reminder of those conflicts and feelings.

It's such a dichotomy in that brain.  "My parents are sooooo smothering!  They don't let me do anything!"  and also, "My parents don't even care about me.  Nothing I do is right, they don't pay attention to me unless I'm messing up."

No matter how much positive encouragement you give your teen girl, some girls will only notice when you reprimand them or give them instructions.

Why is this?  Well, there are several reasons.

1)  You are the parent.  You are "the system" or "the man."  It's the time in their lives where they are taking big courageous breathes to leave the nest and fly solo.  If they take every piece of valid and good advice you give them, then they fear they don't have what it takes to leave.  No one is as smart is mom or dad.  When they get good and valid advice from outside adults (even if it's the same advice) they know that when they are on their own they can still find answers to their questions without your help.  Is your teen's delivery of this information to you given in a mature and articulate manner, or by rolling their eyes and slamming their bedroom door?  Probably the latter, they aren't super mature and articulate - no matter how smart or sweet they are in general.

2)  Friends.  Peer groups.  As adults, we have them.  We generally socialize with people in the general vicinity to our ages.  Our people skills are as developed as the people we spend time with.  Your teen girl has friends who tell her what's cool and what's not cool.  They tell her if the boy she likes is cool or not cool.  They tell her what opinion she just stated is cool or not cool.  And really, for teen girls cool = socially acceptable.  "Dorky" kids think things are cool, and those things are different than what "popular" kids think is cool.  So cool is relative to your friends; therefore, cool = acceptable.  It's semantics, really - but the teens don't realize this.  They just need to survive.

I have to say that it has been my experience that most parents give their teenagers sage and wise advice.  Most parents inherently know their children, regardless of how much or how little they work, socialize, etc.  I have found that most parents feel frustrated and at their wits end because their teen girl isn't listening, and they are worried beyond belief for her well-being.

When you take point #1 into consideration, you understand why she's resisting.  When you take #2 into mind, you realize why her peers opinions are more important than yours.  

And really, when she's an adult those peers are going to be her colleagues in the office, her friends on the social scene.  Those peers will have children her children's ages and they will be at birthday parties and PTA meetings together as adults (especially in towns as small as those here in Butte County).

So when she's struggling in these relationships, not putting down appropriate boundaries, expressing herself constructively, and not listing to your advice, that's when I am able to come in.  I am another adult.  I have a laugh-y, joke-y demeanor that throws them off a little.  "Not another adult who thinks too highly of themselves, but rather can listen without judging me or telling me what to do!"  Yep.  I don't tell teenagers what to do to fix their lives.  I help them think through their options and I help them make the decision.

I teach them to think and make decisions in a healthy way so they don't alienate themselves from their friends or family.

I really love it when parents come into therapy with us.  When your teen is starting therapy she's talking like a teen, and you are accustomed to talking with them like kids.  So we work on that and she has a safe harbor to try some new techniques, while you learn too.  Later, we bring parents back in to do it again, now your teen has had a few months of learning, and she has some more skills to practice with you.  Practicing with you is easier and safer than practicing on friends - so it gives her confidence!  

I do love those teen girls!  Someday they will be women, amazing women, our peers and colleagues!  How wonderful and lucky are we to get to watch and be a part of them growing and evolving.  Little butterflies!  Little birdies learning to fly!

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Jessica Wilkerson also provides therapy to families, couples, individuals, children and teens.

To make an appointment with Jessica for therapy, please call her at (530) 921-5122 or email her at jwilkerson@chicocreekcounseling.com.  You can find her on her office webpage at: http://chicocreekcounseling.com/our-staff/jessica-wilkerson/

Tuesday evenings 6:00-7:30 pm, now through June 24.  Chico Creek Counseling.

Beginning next week, I'm offering a 7 week group for parents of adolescents.  If you have a pre-teen or teenager and your relationship with him/her has been affected by their new sets of behaviors.  Is this happening:  One minute they are sweet talking you like when they were little, the next minute they're screaming at you that you don't know anything and you're so unfair?

Has there been a change in your teenager's life: divorce of parents, changing of schools, changing of friends, the new freedom of having a driver's license or job, drama with friends.

And have you noticed these changes have also created changes in your home life. It's affecting your teen, but it's also contributing to confusion and hurt feelings by the rest of the family, and you've been trying your best to figure things out and smooth them over.

You are NOT alone!

I have provided therapy to many, many junior high and high school kids.  I have provided a lot of family therapy: the parents, the child(ren), me, and the sofa.  It seems that so many similar themes play out in families during this time of restructuring.  Every family I work with is very unique, and yet still struggling in similar ways.

I've created a 6 week program to talk about topics that I see as reoccurring themes to help parents know what is in their power.  Where to give leeway, where to hold firm, and develop a little more understanding about what is going on in that teen brain!

The group is $25 per session.  However, because for me this group is more about helping families.  Helping teens by helping their parents.  Helping fellow parents keep their serenity.  Because I'm passionate for families, I'm not doing this group to grow rich in money, but rich in love and satisfaction of helping others.  The first parent in the family who attends pays $25, but the second parent is only $10 (plus, the first session you attend is free!)  

Parent can also be a grandparent or caregiver struggling with the behaviors in the home, and looking to be a support system for the family.

Please call or text (530) 921-5122 or email jwilkerson@chicocreekcounseling.com to register.

Class schedule is as follows:

5/13 - What is going on in that brain?!?!  Discussion about the changes in the teen brain & how it
           affects behavior.
5/20 - Where did I go wrong?  No one is perfect all the time.  How guilt influences the way we
           parent, & how to shed guilt.
5/27 - Expectations.  Parent expectations, tween/teen expectations - where is the balance? 
6/3 -   Boundaries with Teens.  Where do you draw your line, and how do you hold to it?
6/10 - A Family on a Mission.  How to bring cohesion to your family so everyone is on track &
           going the same direction. 
6/17 - Does it sometimes feel like your family is in chaos?  Learn strategies & techniques for
           holding a family meeting and getting your teen invested in the rules & the decisions made
          during that meeting.
6/24 - Conversation Hour.  No particular topic.  What is the nagging thing that is still lingering in 
           your family, and you want to talk about with Jessica and with a few other parents.  
           Let's just sit, chat, and troubleshoot!

To make an appointment with Jessica for therapy, please call her at (530) 921-5122 or email her at jwilkerson@chicocreekcounseling.com.  You can find her on her office webpage at: http://chicocreekcounseling.com/our-staff/jessica-wilkerson/