Introducing EMDR Intensives!

What are the various options for EMDR?

Many EMDR sessions are provided during a typical 50 minute therapy session.  When we schedule to engage EMDR during a client's usual appointment time, we hit the ground running and we get a lot of healing done during that hour.

When EMDR was created, it was implemented in 90 minute sessions.  I still believe this is the most effective form, but in today's fast paced world it can be difficult for clients to carve out the extra time during their work day.  

EMDR Intensives are multiple EMDR sessions within the period of one or more days.  These are specialty sessions that are full days of healing the traumatic experiences of a person's distant or more current past.  

It's a global pandemic right now and it feels like that's all anyone wants to talk about on the news, on the radio, on tv, and in person.  But then you have all the various memes telling you to enjoy yourself, go on walks, read books, do yoga.  Then there are the guilt inducing memes about how fabulous it is to have the extra time with your kids to engage in arts and crafts.

And the self-care tips.

Ughhhhhh... all the self-care tips!

Here's a self-care tip: Do it.

That thing you're wanting to do.  Do it.

• Are you feeling like vegging out watching reality tv and eating Doritos?  Go for it.
• Do you want to throw away everything in your garage because you're sick of the clutter? That mess isn't sparking joy?  I think the dump is still open, Home Depot rents pickup trucks for about $20, and you probably have some sort of disinfecting agent to wipe down what you touch in public - throw it all out if you want.
• Are the people in your house being fed?  Do they get an adequate amount of your attention most of the time?  Can they hear the word "no" and still survive?  Ok.

You don't have to be superparent and you don't have to be superspouse.  Just because you're single doesn't mean you need to organize your closets.

You're fine just the way you are.

I'm a therapist and I'm already burned out on how everyone is creating all this hype about how to get through a pandemic the "right way."  There's no right way, people.

Don't neglect your children if you have them, but you don't need to make them the end-all, be-all of all the moments of your days either.  They can have a balance of your attention sometimes and being bored other times (so long as they're safe and sound).  You get to have a balance of being with your kids, enjoying them, and also doing what you need to do for you (which isn't necessarily dishes - unless you're like me and love listening to podcasts when you clean and really the only time you get to listen to podcasts is when you clean... so your house is often a mess because who has time for a podcast with all these kids and while working remotely during a pandemic?)

I'm on the pulse of the therapy meme universe, and I'm getting a little riled up about it, so I wanted to make a post telling people not to buy what those memes are selling.  You don't need strangers who make images adding guilt into your life - they don't know you and they definitely don't deserve space in your mind or your heart.  You've got this!

Written by Jessica Wilkerson, LMFT
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #104464

Owner and clinicial supervisor of Inspired Life Counseling in Chico CA.

You can set an appointment with here by going to this page.

The devastating Camp Fire changed everything for every single person who lived in Paradise and all the surrounding towns.  I’m choosing not to give a synopsis of what the denizens of Paradise experienced in the Camp Fire because it’s something that can easily be googled, and those who have lived through it don’t need to read about it, again (and again, and again).

What I want to talk about in this article is the PTSD that is sweeping through Butte County and touching every person here - not just the folks who made it out.

The people who fled through walls of flames are survivors!  They are warriors!

But this article isn’t about them…….

It’s about:

The people who were in Chico or Oroville and who weren’t allowed to drive up to Paradise to save their loved ones.  They had to sit and wait to hear.

The families who have sheltered their loved ones after they made it out of the fire.

The people who have volunteered at shelters, churches, or raised funds.

The individuals and groups who raised money or virtually adopted families.

The employees at the stores when people were shopping for the donations or when they ran out of air filters and air purifiers.  Those on the front lines witnessing the plight of others day after day as a part of their job.

The ones who had compromised immune systems or lungs and couldn’t leave their homes to help, but who were inundated on tv, internet and social media.

The folks who haven’t been able to get apartments, jobs, or child care because the town grew too fast with more people than there are resources and now supply and demand is on high on demand and low on supply.

The days and weeks that smoke hung in the air, clouding our vision, choking our throats, and seeping into homes between the cracks.

Watching so many people affected so thoroughly, and not being able to stop it or “help enough.”

THESE PEOPLE ALSO HAVE PTSD - or at least Secondary Traumatic Stress Disorder.
(Secondary traumatic stress is the emotional duress that results when an individual hears about the firsthand trauma experiences of another).

I keep hearing people compare their pain.  They say, “but it could have been worse…” and follow that statement with a catastrophic fantasy that could theoretically happen or has actually happened to someone else.  They discount their pain because others are also hurting.

But that doesn’t alleviate their pain.

Comparing your pain to someone else’s compounds your hurt so that now you’re hurting and also ashamed about it.  Now, more statements start coming up about being weak or selfish. Now you’re in pain, you’re ashamed, and you’re labeling yourself.  

And still not reaching out for help.

Because other people need it more than you do.

That’s not how pain works.

Pain is pain is pain.

Anxiety is anxiety is anxiety.

Trauma is trauma is trauma.

Those things don’t compare themselves with others, they just take up residence in your heart and mind.  If gone unchecked they continue to grow until they become a beast you can’t ignore anymore.

You don’t have to waste your time waiting for it to grow larger.  Your sacrifice of "not going to talk to someone about it" isn’t actually helping anyone out in the world who has suffered more than you.  You aren’t giving up your spot for them. You’re just suffering needlessly.

I know that as the summer heat has set in, I myself, have been feeling a little anxious about fire season.  It’s been windy lately. It’s getting warmer and warmer. I’m a therapist and I’m feeling it. I’m also hearing the fear around me at the grocery store, with clients, and on my social media pages.  It’s out there.  But we don't have to keep it to ourselves.  We don't have to feel alone within a sense of foreboding.  There's something we can do: we can talk, we can support each other, we can make each other feel NOT CRAZY for feeling so bad about things that have happened. 

You don’t have to have been a fire survivor to be one of the survivors of this catastrophic event.  It’s okay to reach out for help; to talk to someone trained to help you get through to the other side of the tension and stress.

---------------------

Jessica Wilkerson, LMFT
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #104464

Jessica provides therapy to families, individuals, teens, and couples in Chico, California.  To see if she has any openings and set an appointment, you can reach her at:
(530) 994-5114
jdw@jessicawilkerson.com





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Sometimes a traumatic thing will happen and you'll bounce right back after a bit, but sometimes it sticks with you.  Bits and pieces that pop back in.  Body reactions that you don't know where they came from - sudden panic, sweating, recurring thoughts about death or injury.  Unhealthy responses to people and situations that are similar to or bring up memories about a horrible time in your life.

The theory of EMDR is that these memories didn't fully process and instead are still connected to the emotions that you were experiencing at the time of the event.  Now, when you think about or talk about what happened those emotions take over.  You cry, you get angry, you become afraid, and then you respond to yourself and to others from that state of mind.  It might even be affecting your marriage, parenting, or friendships.

EMDR is a well researched technique and it's believed that how it works is to help transfer those memories from the emotional and creative thinking side of your brain over to the more concrete thinking part of your brain.  The result is that when you think about, talk about, or are in similar situations you can be the one in control of your emotions, not the other way around.

It's not a quick fix.  It doesn't work for everyone.  But I've seen some incredible changes and I've had clients who report a lot of healing.

Here's the description from the official EMDR website.

Here's an interesting youtube video.

If you want to talk about your situation and assess if EMDR would be helpful for you, then please feel free to give me a call at (530) 994-5114 or send me an email at jwilkerson@chicocreekcounseling.com.